Filed under: GirlTalk, Hospitality PR, Marketing & PR | Tags: appetizers, applebee's, Boston, Boston college student, Boston restaurant, Boston University, bottega fiorentina, brookline, chain restaurant, citysearch boston, cocktails, college, Communications, date, dinner date, emerson, first date, Hospitality, Hospitality PR, Italian restaurant, Lifestyle, longhorn, lunch date, Newbury street, Nightlife, panera, pasta dishes, PR, Public Relations, Restaurant, restaurant PR, sandwiches, sangria
Yet again, I find myself inspired to post in response to a reader comment! A few days ago I posted about my love of hospitality PR and my passion for the experiences of eating out, going out, and traveling.
I also professed my disgust with chain restaurants, as they lack any unique personality and usually come along with a range of problems from inadequacy of service to poor management. Most of all, however, I just hate the vibe of chain restaurants. I feel too much like an anonymous member of the masses.
One reader was appalled with my lack of affection for chains:
“oh please there is something to be said for hokey style chain restaurants where else can u take a first date with little money(emerson student) and know exactly what you’ll be charged
also comfortability knowing your way around, dress code and other familiar things. you know exactly what your meal will be and that it will taste good because it never changes Chains deserve a special place in restaurant lore some people do not want any surprises”
I feel as if you’ve been thwarted by some non-chain restaurant or heinous first date experience and have been frightened by your own vulnerability. Relax, buddy, they’re not all like that. The girls and the eateries.
“hokey style chain restaurants.”
Oh dear.
First of all, I just want to say that we are talking about this NO-NO specifically in relation to first dates. Obviously if you’re dating someone and you’re out at lunchtime and looking for a place to eat, go ahead and suggest the Panera that’s nestled on the street directly in front of you. It’s just not the right spot for a first date, in my opinion.
Second of all, there are obviously many different types of females out there. Some have upscale requirements, some have picnic-style requirements (a cute, inexpensive first date option, by the way!). Um, we’re flexible. Relax, we’re not looking for a dinner cruise and orchestra seats.
Third of all, we understand you have no money–we’re not all prisses thriving on our parents’ credit cards. I work four days a week, and still maintain a lifestyle similar to that of such prisses, because I prioritize.
If it’s important enough, prioritize. I’m a single girl who pays for herself, and I make out just fine. That being said, I don’t have many other things to spend my money on, save monthly bills, groceries, credit cards, and the like. I’m not trying to say I know how you feel as a guy with no money, or a human being with no money. It’s not the greatest position to be in, but don’t let it lead you to AppleBee’s.
But most importantly, NON-CHAINS ≠ $$$$
Take her to Bottega Fiorentina–on Newbury, not in Brookline. People love it for first dates, and the menu (authentic Italian) has a wide range of pastas, sandwiches, dinners, and salads that are revered around the neighborhood and beyond (by a lot of those prisses as well, incidentally) and hover around $10 each. The vibe is chill, metro, warm, and contemporary but never snooty. They have a great but manageable selection of wine for around $7 a glass and amazing red wine sangria for about the same price. Tell them I sent you. Literally.
Plan It
I feel like this comment comes from an experience in which you chose a place and it ended up costing way more $$$ than you expected. A novel idea might be to look at the menu ahead of time. They post them outside the restaurant (who knew!) and you can shriek at the price of the lobster ravioli sans judgment. Better yet, most notable spots have pdfs of their menus online. You don’t even have to get off the couch. Or go to a site like City Search and read customer reviews. They’re really honest about the price and the food.
There’s nothing more awkward than a freshman first date in tacky Easter Sunday clothes at one of those restaurants where two different wine glasses that your Keystone expertise has had yet to encounter are waiting for you on the table and everyone there is thirty-six and over. Don’t let this happen to you (again?). Prepare.
Choose the Environment
Now that the weather’s getting beautiful, sit outside at a restaurant with a patio during lunch. A. Lunch is always cheaper or the same price. B. the atmosphere makes up for your tight budget.
Hence, you’ll pay the same as if you had gone to Longhorn, but she won’t have to hear Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban belt on soft 106.7’s country equivalent.
Yes, I do know that a lot of young women like Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban. But I do not. I’m from New Jersey. And New York. No fluffy twangs, please. And no fried things that shouldn’t be fried by anyone, except Paula Deen.
Frame It
You’re doing the asking. So ask her out to drinks over appetizers. She won’t order more than two drinks, tops–and if she does you probably don’t want’er. Or go for coffee. Girls eat. coffee. dates. up. She’ll think secretly that your sensitivity only makes you more masculine. Plus, if it doesn’t go well, there’s a flexible expiration date. Or, if it’s going great, you can hang out over those $2 cups for hours. Just don’t order anything with the words “caramel,” “mocha,” or “frappuccino” in it.
I’ve got your best interest in mind, commenter, don’t be mad! I’m starting a list of places for you. I’ll post it shortly. For now, try Bottega.
Filed under: GirlTalk, Hospitality PR, Marketing & PR | Tags: aquitane, banq, bond, Boston, Boston college student, Boston restaurant, Boston University, brasserie, Communications, French restaurant, gaslight, Hospitality, Hospitality PR, langham hotel, Lifestyle, Nightlife, PR, Public Relations, Restaurant, rocca, savant project, Twitter, union bar and grill, vlora
As I mentioned on Twitter a little while ago,
I think I’m in love. With a restaurant.
Some things I should mention about myself first:
1) I ♥ eating out.
2) I ♥ going out.
3) I ♥ going on vacation.
Well, duh. Me and eighty five billion other people. But I’m definitely not a homebody.
4) I’m so much more about putting my limited amount of college kid $$$ toward experiences rather than possessions.
5) Also, forgot to mention, I HATE chain restaurants. I believe firmly that they are completely devoid of management personality, neighborhood relevance, employee relations, employee incentive/devotion, and draws for customer return. What a poor system.
HENCE, I’ve started trafficking in amazing or niche or chill or noteworthy restaurants at which to eat. One of the best things about eating out–which I realize might be obvious to many–is that each meal/time of day proposes a distinctly different kind of experience.
For example, if my girlfriend and I haven’t seen each other in a month or two, we’ll pick a spot on Newbury with a patio and sit there for hours over a few courses, ordering everything from sangria with the appetizers to cappuccino for the reminiscing that comes at the end of every great meal-directed frienaissance.
Certain restaurant experiences are not to be missed: special Sunday brunches, Thursday night drinks over easy college-kid foods at joints like Sunset Cantina, Saturday night birthday dinners at places like…well, I don’t want to shame my cred with the grossly high-profile, uninteresting-by-industry-standards-but-still-mainstay restaurants I’ve always enjoyed. Many are on Newbury. I’m working on it.
FYI, my friends and family went with me to Chili’s for my birthday every year until I was 19, so no need to judge me as a better-than-thou purse-flailing brat. I just like what I like.
My current TO EAT AT list of restaurants in the Boston area includes:
Banq–my friend won’t stop pulling up the website to convince me
Rocca–appreciating the website’s personality
The Savant Project–restaurant week alerted me to this one
The Langham’s Bond–execs at my internship tipped me off to it
Aquitane–a Google search for an Easter brunch destination revealed its alluring site
Union Bar and Grill–another brunch-worthy locale with tons of buzz
Vlora–a friend from the inside recommended it so of course!
A little while ago my friends and I (group of 10?) went to Gaslight Brasserie, a beautifully different (from the usual Boston uniformed blah) French restaurant in Boston’s South End for brunch. As I gushed earlier, it definitely got me.
First off, the design was perfectly unique to the brasserie–seasoned wood, a warm but sturdy color scheme of cream and dark cherry, and just the right amount of referential decor, so to speak. It felt original, but I still knew I was in America. My group was seated at an ideally oversized table and–as a few of us had received bouquets in honor of a special occasion–were asked if our flowers might be put in vases with some water on the tables. K, they kinda had me there already.
My first bellini out as a 21-year-old: fabulous.
The Brunch Specials options: absolutely delicious.
The “French fries”: we could. not. stop.
The caffeinated beverages: even better than we had desired.
The pastries and breads: Please.
Filed under: GirlTalk, SmartyPants | Tags: awareness, Dictionary, PR, pub, Public Relations, Urban Dictionary
My friends and I have this little problem. I hope I can convey it accurately so that you understand what I mean, as opposed to thinking I’m a snot with spit for brains. Consider yourself valued.
Awareness deserves an entirely alternative connotation, apart from that which currently defines it…one that doesn’t conjure images of publicity and NPOs and consumer conglomerates, and one that cannot be increased or decreased. A person is raised with it, and if you don’t have, you probably never will.
This definition refers to one’s understanding of him/herself in relation to others–to the proper ways to act in social situations. And no, I’m not talking about which fork to use at a fancy dinner, Pretty Woman. More to come on the exact definition. For now, however, key terms that relate to awareness are adaptation and humility.
Ok. So awareness. Examples will help me to explain.
Ex. 1: Melanie and Susie are out shopping when they wander into a boutique that sells luxury items for prices that are far higher than the pair typically desires to pay. Susie starts to discuss how ugly and overpriced the bags are while a saleswoman stands nearby in the silent store. Melanie feels guilty and averts her eyes from the employees as she glides toward the door.
In this example, Melanie possesses awareness. Susie lacks awareness.
Ex. 2: Bob’s mother is coming into town. He knows it will be a bad idea to bring his friend Tom to lunch with her, because he will essentially suck at conversation and create other awkward situations that nobody wants to picture. Instead, Bob asks his girlfriend Alex to come with him and his mother out to lunch. Bob breathes easily as his girlfriend adapts to conversational topics his mother starts. Alex also brings up other topics and contributes to the conversation instead of keeping to herself.
In this example, Alex possesses awareness. Tom lacks awareness.
I know what you’re thinking. Who is this stuck-up snob?! I’ll yell in a quiet store about the pity of its existence if I want to, are you serious? If this is the personality you’re assigning to me right now, you’re not getting it.
I haven’t explained awareness entirely, I hear you. The last person I want to be is that J Crew-clad twenty-something mom walking around the clean streets of Boston with her new it-baby carriage, wannabe high-end logo scarf, khakis, and absence of style.
Awareness is:
♦ Not causing other people to go out on a limb for you
♦ Not being that girl or that guy
♦ Doing the extra pleases and thank-yous that make big differences
♦ Comprehending how you come off to others
♦ Chewing with your mouth closed
♦ Being nice to someone you don’t want to be nice to, because it’s just what you do
♦ Wearing the right clothing for your body type in the right size (tricky)
♦ Being savvy
♦ Being intelligent
♦ Knowing how to act in an interview or professional situation
♦ An ability to read people and to read between the lines
♦ Let’s face it–knowing how to get what you want in a difficult situation
People who lack awareness:
♦ Cause scenes in public places
♦ Make others around them feel uncomfortable
♦ Drink one too many glasses of champagne at a special event
♦ Never keep the friendship of a person with awareness for long
It certainly isn’t an acquired taste.
I am always stunned when students or professionals in any field lack awareness. How do these people succeed?
But the worst part of it for people who lack awareness is:
You don’t realize you lack it if you lack it.
Filed under: GirlTalk | Tags: Boston, college, Nightlife, PR, Public Relations
Disclaimer: I realize that what follows happens all the time to young women everywhere. I am not professing to be some kind of seasoned expert or magnet; I’m just sharing my experience and resultant frustration.
The other night, you and your contemporaries decided to praise God for uniting a close friend of yours with a job offer upon graduation.
Location: a lustrous silver and onyx lounge you’ve been eying ever since you spotted all the pretty, happy people exiting it one night on your walk home from work.
Goal: a fun night out with friends and friends of the friends of your friends.
Your platinum strands gleam under the sparse and speckled lighting as you enter the venue’s R&B-themed event. Freshly-cologned guys in cream-colored, thick-ribbed, body-hugging turtleneck sweaters reminiscent of that Boyz II Men “I’ll Make Love To You” music video bumble about while everyone from college kids to corporate heads to post-grad wannabes cajole with fellow hopefuls.
You walk down the tiled aisle that cuts through the private tables and couches to meet the main bar perpendicularly. You find the restroom after the bouncer bumps into you down a dimly lit corridor. Once you convince yourself that yes, you are allowed to wear leggings as pants, just this once you pass that main bar once again on the way to your group’s table.
A huge, late-thirty-something member of the aforementioned polyester parade grabs your wrist with his this is how much I have watch—hopefully the only arm candy he donned that night—and pulls you backward toward him. You are irked instantly.
“Oh, I thought you were someone else I know,” he smirks.
You go along with it so as not to “make a big deal” or wound his presumably delicate sensitivity. In truth, you avoid confrontation like the frozen pizza aisle at Shaw’s, even though you admit to biting the edges off of everyone’s crusts when it’s time to eat.
“Oh, no,” you beam hospitably. Why bother serving pork to a pig.
“I’m _______. This is my buddy ______.”
Riveting. You introduce yourself and plot an exit.
“So what do you do?” the sweater bugs you. Are we actually going through with the whole question and answer bit?
“I’m majoring in PR at BU.” The words are struggling out now—your teeth are like vice grips.
“Ohhh, wow.” OR, he saw the blond stereotype from a mile away. Perhaps leggings were a poor choice as well.
He discusses his revolutionary career while you contemplate stealing the straw from Buddy’s scotch to aim it at your left cornea.
“I’m sorry, I think I’m a little too young…” you smile politely, half-jokingly even, to make it less awkward for them.
“Ohh??” Executive #1 condescends.
“Well, I’m just here with my college friends, doing my college thing…but it was nice meeting you both.” You could not have been any more pleasant.
Later, standing on the side of your table that borders the path to the door, you spot the duo bee-lining toward you.
“Jamie, it was very nice meeting you,” he insists, his bruised ego transparent. Why is this necessary?
Then he leans in.
“But you know, you say you’re in PR…you should really think about who you’re talking to and what you do. You just blew it with the CEO of ________.” Let’s just say he represented a major corporation with minor intelligence and evidently microscopic skill.
You watch him walk out as if he has just won the UFC. You are livid, amused, surprised, and confused, all the while trying to figure out who is to blame for reinforcing such behavior positively in the past.
Clearly, there were several alarming aspects of this exchange. This is a creature who depends on pulling a girl toward him and lying to her face in order to ‘earn’ the right to talk to her. Wow, he must be POWERFUL.
But all of that pales in comparison to his exit interview. A prospective public relations specialist, you obviously failed to understand sexually-motivated behavior as congruent with (to?) a ripe opportunity for an evening board meeting. How green are you, you country bumpkin?!
OK, I’m going to stop speaking in second person. You’re not blond anymore–well, unless of course you are. Sorry if that was painful.
Perhaps what irritated me most about this interaction was his eye-widening as PR emerged from my lips. I may never be able to express the extent of my annoyance with the reputation that females in reputation management have to shake. Yes, public relations work is about talking and interacting as well as persuading. Wow, racy.
To quote Phoebe from “Friends,” “We must alert the church elders!” Please. And don’t blame Samantha Jones. She may have fueled the fire, but that match was lit long before her arrival.
I am so sick of the eyebrows–indicative of judgement, intrigue, whatever.
More posts to come on this–I predict eternal perturbation.
