Of Age and Underpaid

Yet again, I find myself inspired to post in response to a reader comment! A few days ago I posted about my love of hospitality PR and my passion for the experiences of eating out, going out, and traveling.

I also professed my disgust with chain restaurants, as they lack any unique personality and usually come along with a range of problems from inadequacy of  service to poor management.  Most of all, however, I just hate the vibe of chain restaurants.  I feel too much like an anonymous member of the masses.

One reader was appalled with my lack of affection for chains:

“oh please there is something to be said for hokey style chain restaurants where else can u take a first date with little money(emerson student) and know exactly what you’ll be charged
also comfortability knowing your way around, dress code and other familiar things. you know exactly what your meal will be and that it will taste good because it never changes Chains deserve a special place in restaurant lore some people do not want any surprises”

Comment by trevor simms April 30, 2009 @ 3:59 pm

Oh my.

I feel as if you’ve been thwarted by some non-chain restaurant or heinous first date experience and have been frightened by your own vulnerability.  Relax, buddy, they’re not all like that.  The girls and the eateries.

Dear single guys everywhere:

DO NOT TAKE FIRST DATES TO

“hokey style chain restaurants.”

Oh dear.

First of all, I just want to say that we are talking about this NO-NO specifically in relation to first dates.  Obviously if you’re dating someone and you’re out at lunchtime and looking for a place to eat, go ahead and suggest the Panera that’s nestled on the street directly in front of you.  It’s just not the right spot for a first date, in my opinion.

Second of all, there are obviously many different types of females out there.  Some have upscale requirements, some have picnic-style requirements (a cute, inexpensive first date option, by the way!).  Um, we’re flexible.  Relax, we’re not looking for a dinner cruise and orchestra seats.

Third of all, we understand you have no money–we’re not all prisses thriving on our parents’ credit cards.  I work four days a week, and still maintain a lifestyle similar to that of such prisses, because I prioritize.

If it’s important enough, prioritize.  I’m a single girl who pays for herself, and I make out just fine.  That being said, I don’t have many other things to spend my money on, save monthly bills, groceries, credit cards, and the like.  I’m not trying to say I know how you feel as a guy with no money, or a human being with no money.  It’s not the greatest position to be in, but don’t let it lead you to AppleBee’s.

But most importantly, NON-CHAINS ≠ $$$$

Take her to Bottega Fiorentina–on Newbury, not in Brookline.  People love it for first dates, and the menu (authentic Italian) has a wide range of pastas, sandwiches, dinners, and salads that are revered around the neighborhood and beyond (by a lot of those prisses as well, incidentally) and hover around $10 each.  The vibe is chill, metro, warm, and contemporary but never snooty.  They have a great but manageable selection of wine for around $7 a glass and amazing red wine sangria for about the same price.  Tell them I sent you.  Literally.

Plan It

I feel like this comment comes from an experience in which you chose a place and it ended up costing way more $$$ than you expected.  A novel idea might be to look at the menu ahead of time.  They post them outside the restaurant (who knew!)  and you can shriek at the price of the lobster ravioli sans judgment.  Better yet, most notable spots have pdfs of their menus online.  You don’t even have to get off the couch.  Or go to a site like City Search and read customer reviews.  They’re really honest about the price and the food.

There’s nothing more awkward than a freshman first date in tacky Easter Sunday clothes at one of those restaurants where two different wine glasses that your Keystone expertise has had yet to encounter are waiting for you on the table and everyone there is thirty-six and over.  Don’t let this happen to you (again?).  Prepare.

Choose the Environment

Now that the weather’s getting beautiful, sit outside at a restaurant with a patio during lunch.  A. Lunch is always cheaper or the same price. B. the atmosphere makes up for your tight budget.

Hence, you’ll pay the same as if you had gone to Longhorn, but she won’t have to hear Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban belt on soft 106.7’s country equivalent.

Yes, I do know that a lot of young women like Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban.  But I do not.  I’m from New Jersey.  And New York.  No fluffy twangs, please.  And no fried things that shouldn’t be fried by anyone, except Paula Deen.

Frame It

You’re doing the asking.  So ask her out to drinks over appetizers.  She won’t order more than two drinks, tops–and if she does you probably don’t want’er.  Or go for coffee.  Girls eat. coffee. dates. up. She’ll think secretly that your sensitivity only makes you more masculine.  Plus, if it doesn’t go well, there’s a flexible expiration date.  Or, if it’s going great, you can hang out over those $2 cups for hours.  Just don’t order anything with the words “caramel,” “mocha,” or “frappuccino” in it.

I’ve got your best interest in mind, commenter, don’t be mad!  I’m starting a list of places for you.  I’ll post it shortly.  For now, try Bottega.