Of Age and Underpaid

My friends and I have this little problem. I hope I can convey it accurately so that you understand what I mean, as opposed to thinking I’m a snot with spit for brains.  Consider yourself valued.

Awareness deserves an entirely alternative connotation, apart from that which currently defines it…one that doesn’t conjure images of publicity and NPOs and consumer conglomerates, and one that cannot be increased or decreased. A person is raised with it, and if you don’t have, you probably never will.

This definition refers to one’s understanding of him/herself in relation to others–to the proper ways to act in social situations. And no, I’m not talking about which fork to use at a fancy dinner, Pretty Woman. More to come on the exact definition. For now, however, key terms that relate to awareness are adaptation and humility.

Ok. So awareness. Examples will help me to explain.

Ex. 1: Melanie and Susie are out shopping when they wander into a boutique that sells luxury items for prices that are far higher than the pair typically desires to pay. Susie starts to discuss how ugly and overpriced the bags are while a saleswoman stands nearby in the silent store. Melanie feels guilty and averts her eyes from the employees as she glides toward the door.

In this example, Melanie possesses awareness. Susie lacks awareness.

Ex. 2: Bob’s mother is coming into town. He knows it will be a bad idea to bring his friend Tom to lunch with her, because he will essentially suck at conversation and create other awkward situations that nobody wants to picture. Instead, Bob asks his girlfriend Alex to come with him and his mother out to lunch. Bob breathes easily as his girlfriend adapts to conversational topics his mother starts. Alex also brings up other topics and contributes to the conversation instead of keeping to herself.

In this example, Alex possesses awareness. Tom lacks awareness.

I know what you’re thinking. Who is this stuck-up snob?! I’ll yell in a quiet store about the pity of its existence if I want to, are you serious? If this is the personality you’re assigning to me right now, you’re not getting it.

I haven’t explained awareness entirely, I hear you. The last person I want to be is that J Crew-clad twenty-something mom walking around the clean streets of Boston with her new it-baby carriage, wannabe high-end logo scarf, khakis, and absence of style.

Awareness is:

♦ Not causing other people to go out on a limb for you

♦ Not being that girl or that guy

♦ Doing the extra pleases and thank-yous that make big differences

♦ Comprehending how you come off to others

♦ Chewing with your mouth closed

♦ Being nice to someone you don’t want to be nice to, because it’s just what you do

♦ Wearing the right clothing for your body type in the right size (tricky)

♦ Being savvy

♦ Being intelligent

♦ Knowing how to act in an interview or professional situation

♦ An ability to read people and to read between the lines

♦ Let’s face it–knowing how to get what you want in a difficult situation

People who lack awareness:

♦ Cause scenes in public places

♦ Make others around them feel uncomfortable

♦ Drink one too many glasses of champagne at a special event

♦ Never keep the friendship of a person with awareness for long

It certainly isn’t an acquired taste.

I am always stunned when students or professionals in any field lack awareness. How do these people succeed?

But the worst part of it for people who lack awareness is:

You don’t realize you lack it if you lack it.